this.Day i never....

said goodbye.....
so i learned this morning that my granddad had just passed away. He was in Vietnam. although it indeed is sad, it was not surprising. He was not terminal, or any accident, just time, he was 98 i think. I'm not sure how to feel right now.

i wish i had gone to Vietnamese school. honestly i was given the choice...i said no. all my friends hated Chinese cshool...why would i wanna go to viet school? or at least that's how i thought at the time. To this day i regret that decision, every single day. i feel a lost a part of me. i don't look viet, and really only my last name is a marker, but the more i listen to it, the more beautiful it sounds. ic an understand most, but i cannot speak it, and really that was the problem. my grandparents did not speak englsih and i did not speak viet.

however that did not prevent all communication. sometimes relatives translanted, sometimes they didn't....but i could always tell he was proud of me and my generation. Just a smile and warth when he looked at us. Talked about us, what schools we went to and what our dreams were. to him we were what he ahd wanted to be. He had only a 5th grade education, but he was able to successfully run a store, build a home downtown and send children to college in the US.

my family name is not actually nguyen, its vu. that's why it was a part of my middle name. but my granddad was adopted and changed last names. i thank him so much for what he's given this family, this life, given me. i jsut wish i could've told him. i wish i could've said goodbye. i wish i knew how

i need to seriosuly set time to learn viet...